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Newly updated with stories from people who have turned to this life-altering book in their time of need, this motivational teaching about what really matters reminds us how we can honor each relationship every day.
Four simple phrases—“Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you”—carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional wellbeing, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace.
Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, explains how we can practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know that we love them. Dr. Byock demonstrates the value of “stating the obvious” and provides practical insights into the benefits of letting go of old grudges and toxic emotions. His stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another and live life more fully.
Using the Four Things in a wide range of life situations, we can experience emotional healing even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual power, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.
- Sales Rank: #28983 in Books
- Published on: 2014-06-10
- Released on: 2014-06-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.37" h x 1.00" w x 5.50" l, .80 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 272 pages
- 08.10.17
Review
Caroline Myss Author of Sacred Contracts, Why People Don't Heal and How They Can, and Anatomy of the Spirit The Four Things That Matter Most is a book of commonsense wisdom that has the power to dynamically change your life. It is a pleasure to recommend a book that encourages you to transform the quality of your life in simple ways that actually work.
Maggie Callanan Coauthor of Final Gifts A tender read I highly recommend. The Four Things That Matter Most offers simple but solid solutions for healing our complex and fragile relationships -- wisdom that will surely enrich our lives.
Larry Dossey, M.D. Author of Healing Beyond the Body, Reinventing Medicine, and Healing Words For anyone who believes that years of therapy are required for transforming relationships with others, this book will come as a pleasant surprise. Great wisdom has always been simple -- that is why it is elusive -- and great wisdom is what this book contains.
Joan Halifax, Ph.D. Author, Buddhist teacher, anthropologist, founder and director of Ojai Foundation, and founder, Upaya Foundation Ira Byock's compassionate and important work in the field of dying has given him the four great treasures of love and freedom that all of us can use throughout our life. This wonderful book opens the doors to these jewels of compassion.
Zorba Paster, M.D. Author of The Longevity Code, host of public radio's Zorba Paster on Your Health, and host of the public television special How to Live a Long, Sweet Life The Four Things That Matter Most provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending.
"This beautiful book, full of wisdom and warmth, teaches us how to protect and preserve our most valuable possessions--the relationships with those we love. It shows that the things that matter definitely aren’t ‘things,’ and how to empower your life in the right direction." (Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)
From the Inside Flap
"This beautiful book, full of wisdom and warmth, teaches us how to protect and preserve our most valuable possessions--the relationships with those we love. It shows that the things that matter definitely aren’t "things," and how to empower your life in the right direction."
--Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
"The 4 Things That Matter Most provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending."
--Zorba Paster, M.D., author of The Longevity Code, host of public radio's On Your Health, and host of the public television special, How to Live a Long, Sweet Life [airing post-Thanksgiving]
"A tender read I highly recommend -- The Four Things That Matter Most offers simple but solid solutions for healing our complex and fragile relationships -- wisdom that will surely enrich our lives."
--Maggie Callanan, co-author of the bestselling Final Gifts
"For anyone who believes that years of therapy are required for transforming relationships with others, this book will come as a pleasant surprise. Great wisdom has always been simple - that is why it is elusive - and great wisdom is what this book contains.
--Larry Dossey, MD author of HEALING BEYOND THE BODY, REINVENTING MEDICINE, and The New York Times bestselling HEALING WORDS
"The Four Things that Matter Most is a book of common sense wisdom that has the power to dynamically change your life. It is a pleasure to recommend a book that encourages you to transform the quality of your life in simple ways that actually work."
-- Caroline Myss, author of Sacred Contracts and Anatomy of the Spirit
"Ira Byock's compassionate and important work in the field of dying has given him the four great treasures of love and freedom that all of us can use throughout our life. This wonderful book opens the doors to these jewels of compassion"
-- Joan Halifax, Ph.D. author, Buddhist teacher, anthropologist, former research assistant to Joseph Campbell, founder and director of Ojai Foundation and founder, Upaya Foundation
About the Author
Ira Byock, MD, is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. His research and writing have helped to define quality of life and quality of care for people living with advanced medical conditions. He has been involved in hospice and palliative care since 1978 and is a founding member and past president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. From 1996 through 2006, he served as Director for Promoting Excellence in End-of-Life Care, a national grant program of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
Dr. Byock is Chief Medical Officer of the Institute for Human Caring of Providence Health and Services system. From 2003 through July 2013 he directed the palliative care program at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, New Hampshire. Dr. Byock is a Professor of Medicine and Community & Family Medicine at the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth.
More information is available at IraByock.org.
Most helpful customer reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Four simple phrases that pave the road to healing.
By Clyde Beury
When I retired I had a rule that if I took a book out of the public library 3 times then I would consider buying it. After reading this book once I knew that it was a keeper and one that I wanted to own, underline and write in the margins. Dr. Byock has worked in a hospice care facility and drew on his experience with both patients and their families in his writing of this very readable and practical book. I am using tis book in a class that I tech with adult learners and they have unanimously endorsed this a a book they enjoyed reading and are starting to use in working with their families to repair and rebuilt damaged relationships. For anyone who believes that dysfunctional family is a redundant phrase this book is an essential read before setting out on the road to peace and wholeness.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A Forever Book
By JanD
This is an excellent, thoughtful, and profound book. The author is not only a gifted author, but he has a professional lifetime of experience with individuals and families, when death is imminent. He beautifully describes true dilemmas and struggles in those who seek peace, forgiveness, and resolution of anger, and he guides them in ways to do this. As a nurse, I appreciated the authentic spirit of his writing, his compassion and love of his fellow man - patient and family alike. I would recommend this to everyone as a book to read and re-read.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Well worth the read
By i. Ski
A must read book for people anticipating loss of others or who are facing the end of life. I can't tell you how encouraging this is and how important it is that we acknowledge these four things, which reflect the most basic needs of life. Relationships can't be replaced by things or by the noise around us in everyday life. Forgiveness, love, gratitude, and farewell are all important to us, but few of us ever say them concretely to those who are important to us.
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